In this episode of It’s All Your Fault on TruStory FM, Megan Hunter is joined by Michael Lomax, senior trainer at the High Conflict Institute in Scottsdale, Arizona. Michael brings 25 years of workplace dispute resolution experience and co-authored Mediating High Conflict Disputes with Bill Eddy. Together, they dig into the practical tools leaders need when high conflict behavior is draining their team, derailing their meetings, or flooding their inbox.
Understanding High Conflict Behavior at Work
High conflict situations in the workplace don’t just create tension—they consume time, energy, and organizational resources at a scale most leaders underestimate. This episode gives leaders a clear-eyed framework for responding more effectively, not by trying to diagnose or fix the people involved, but by focusing on the one thing that’s fully within their control: how they show up, what structure they bring, and how they engage.
Questions We Answer in This Episode
- How can BIFF responses prevent written communication from spiraling?
- How do you manage a meeting being hijacked by a consistently disruptive person?
- How do you validate a chronic complainer while moving them toward solutions?
- What does a conflict-competent culture actually look like, and how do you build one?
- What is the New Ways for Work Coaches Training and who is it for?
- What mindset shift most transforms how leaders experience conflict?
Key Takeaways
- A BIFF response works like a pilot’s checklist—when the floor feels like it’s falling out, it gives you a clear structure to follow instead of reacting.
- Not BIFFing keeps the door open for more escalation; using BIFF is strategic self-protection, not passivity.
- Meetings derail long before the disruptive moment—missing agendas and unclear group norms are what allow one person to dominate.
- Redirect disruptive meeting participants rather than confronting them—give them a constructive path forward instead of telling them to stop.
- With chronic complainers, use EAR statements to acknowledge, then shift deliberately from past pain to future choices and proposals.
- A conflict-competent culture requires three things working in concert: clear organizational policies, senior leaders who model the approach, and skills training at all levels.
- The most powerful mindset shift for leaders: stop focusing on fixing the other person and focus entirely on how you show up and the structure you bring.
Leaders who apply these tools find that high conflict situations become less personal, less draining, and far more manageable—and that their teams follow their lead.
About Our Guest: Michael Lomax
Michael Lomax is a senior trainer with the High Conflict Institute and co-author of Mediating High Conflict Disputes with Bill Eddy. He has worked in the field of workplace dispute resolution for 25 years, practicing law on Vancouver Island, British Columbia before focusing on mediation and workplace conflict resolution. Michael has been a trainer with the High Conflict Institute for 15 years and leads training programs for workplace coaches and organizational leaders, including Managing High Conflict Behavior in the Workplace and the New Ways for Work Coaches Training.
Additional Resources
Professional Development
- New Ways for Work Training for Workplace Coaches — March 3 & 5, 2026
- Leaders Training: Managing High Conflict Behavior at Work — April 23, 2026
Expert Publications
- BIFF at Work by Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter
- Mediating High Conflict Disputes by Bill Eddy and Michael Lomax
- It’s All Your Fault at Work by Bill Eddy and L. Georgi DiStefano
Connect With Us
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Important Notice: Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area.