Violence and Mental Health
© 2022 by Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD We live in an age of overlap between legal and mental health problems. It is frequently said that there are more people with mental health needs in our legal systems than in our mental health systems. Recent news events have emphasized mass shootings by those with mental health problems, workplace conflicts which become violent and police encounters with the mentally ill – which sometimes end in the death of the mentally ill person or the police. In family court cases, workplace disputes and community conflicts, mental illness is frequently cited as a major factor in incidents of violence. Yet despite all of this talk about mental health problems, there seems to be little discussion of what mental illness really is. In reality, there are many different types of mental illness, some more dangerous than others, and some more identifiable than others. This article attempts to give a brief overview of some of the basic mental disorders in terms of general violence risk and why everyone needs to understand these problems better – and to support efforts for more professional training and more services for those with mental health needs. The following information is drawn from my general knowledge as a therapist and family lawyer, and from the manual of mental disorders used by mental health professionals: Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, fifth edition, text revised (2022), published by the American Psychiatric Association – commonly known as the DSM-5-TR. You should not attempt to diagnose someone based on this information, but rather seek the assistance of a licensed mental health professional for evaluation and treatment. Depression Depression has a wide range, from situational temporary depression such as over the loss of a close friend or relative, to mild chronic depression, to major depression. The DSM-5-TR saysthat approximately 7% of the population will suffer from major depressive disorder in any given year, which means that they have depressed mood most of the day, almost every day. Thisincludes feeling sad, hopeless and discouraged. Fatigue and insomnia are common. In children and men, this may take the form of irritability rather than sadness – yet still be depression.Some people have suicidal thoughts with depression, while others do not. Depression mostly drains the energy from the person, but some become energized as they are coming out of adepression and take action to harm themselves. Men, more than women, have agitated depressions which may give them energy for self-destructive acts. In rare cases, they will harmothers while ending their lives, such as in a murder-suicide. However, I personally believe that the people who do this also have a personality disorder (see below). In general, depressionalone appears to make one less likely to hurt others, rather than more likely. Depression is a fairly treatable disorder, with medications, counseling or both. Anxiety Anxiety is generally characterized by extra caution or avoidance of perceived threatening situations. Anxiety also has a wide range of intensity. More severe forms include social anxietydisorder, which the DSM-5-TR says occurs in any given year for about 7% of the adult population, generalized anxiety disorder for about 3% of the population and panic disorder for2-3% of adults. These tend to cause an overall decreased sense of well-being, sometimes to the point of dropping out of school, losing a job, avoiding dating and over-compensating with drugs and alcohol. Generally, they are more afraid of confronting others rather than acting out aggressively. Anxiety disorders are also fairly treatable with therapy, medications or both. Bipolar Disorder Bipolar disorders take several forms, which are each described in the DSM-5-TR and add up to about 2% of adults. They appear to be more genetic – a biologically-based chemical imbalance – and cause the person to have manic episodes (for a week or longer) when they are extra energized most of the day, don’t sleep much, are extra talkative, distractible andenthusiastically engaged in activities that may hurt them in long run (sexual indiscretions, over-spending, etc.); followed by depressive episodes (two weeks or more after a manic episode),when they demonstrate the sadness, hopelessness and reduced energy described above for people who suffer depression. While people with bipolar disorder are sometimes known for their wild behavior, during the manic episode there is also an increased risk for violence. On the other hand, their suicide riskto themselves is much higher than the general population and the DSM-5-TR states “bipolar disorder may account for one-quarter of all completed suicides.” Medications are the basictreatment approach for the bipolar disorders, because they appear to be primarily a bio-chemical problem. Schizophrenia This disorder is poorly understood by most people, because it is so rare. Only about 1% of the population has this disorder, which is marked by psychotic symptoms, such as hallucinations(hearing voices that aren’t there) and delusions (seeing people or having beliefs that are not based in reality). While this disorder is often mentioned with mass shootings, people withschizophrenia are generally no more violent than the average population and that was my experience working with them in psychiatric hospitals. When we hear about someone withschizophrenia being involved in a mass shooting, I believe that it is because they also had a personality disorder (see below), not because of the schizophrenia. However, in very rare casesthey may have “command hallucinations” which order them to kill someone. Schizophrenia is often what people think of when they think of mental illness. Substance Use Disorders Alcoholism and other chemical addictions are a common problem in the United States. They are characterized by denial that there is a problem and continued use even when the substancecauses increasing problems in relationships, employment, finances, health and other areas of one’s life. The DSM-5-TR states that alcohol use disorder occurs in about 8.5% of the adultpopulation in any given year. Adding in all the other substance use disorders, including addiction to prescribed medications, there may be as many as 15% of adults meeting thecriteria for a substance use disorder of one kind or another.
Six “Opposites” Skills for Influencing Conflict
“Opposites” Skills for Influencing Conflict © 2024 by Megan Hunter, MBA Navigating conflicts, especially high-conflict situations, is undoubtedly emotionally draining and mentally exhausting. In fact, the three words voiced most often from those involved in high-conflict are chaos, exhaustion and confusion. Whether it’s a challenging romantic relationship or friendship, a contentious workplace, or a family dispute, high-conflict interactions have a way of consuming your energy and peace of mind. Sometimes we overreact. Sometimes we freeze in fear. Sometimes we engage in ways that don’t work. However, there’s a transformative approach that can help you extract yourself from the chaos. Managing conflict in high-conflict situations or with a high-conflict person can seem impossible, but everyone has the power to influence conflict by learning to use a few skills that are the “opposite” of what you’re used to doing with everyone and the “opposite” or what you feel like doing. This unique skill set not only empowers you to manage and mitigate high-conflict situations more effectively, it increases your confidence by knowing that you are using the most advanced and refined skills to meet the other person (and their brain) exactly and precisely where they are. Here are six key ways of becoming a Conflict Influencer™ and why they are essential for anyone dealing with any type of conflict, especially high-conflict scenarios. These are the skills taught in our Conflict Influencer class. 1. The Conflict Spectrum & the Conflict Brain Understanding where a conflict falls on the spectrum—from low to high intensity—is crucial in effectively managing disputes. As a Conflict Influencer™, you’ll learn to assess the Conflict Spectrum and recognize how our brains respond to different levels of conflict. This knowledge is particularly valuable in high-conflict situations where emotions run high and logical thinking often takes a back seat. By understanding the five high-conflict, fear-based operating systems and your own Conflict Tolerance Quotient (CTQ), you can better navigate conflicts without being overwhelmed by them. 2. BIFFB4Send: Conquering Texts, Emails and Any Messages with BIFF Communication High-conflict individuals often thrive on emotional reactions and prolonged disputes. The BIFF Communication™ method—Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm—teaches you to neutralize these triggers, especially in written communication. By removing emotional hooks and focusing on clear, calm, and concise messaging, you can effectively end hostility and reduce the dread of ongoing conflicts. This skill is indispensable in maintaining professionalism and reducing stress, whether you’re dealing with a difficult colleague, partner, or family member. 3. CalmB4Think: De-escalating Tense Situations and Shifting to Thinking with EAR + Think In high-conflict situations, conversations can quickly spiral out of control, leading to more damage than resolution. As a Conflict Influencer™, you’ll learn to use EAR Statements™—Empathy, Attention, and Respect—to calm an agitated (or upset, blaming, complaining) person and shift the conversation from emotional reactivity to logical problem-solving. This skill not only de-escalates conflict by building trust and gets you to next steps instead of staying stuck and ending without resolution. 4. ProposalsB4Agreements: Using Proposals & Questions to Reach Agreements One of the most challenging aspects in high-conflict situations is reaching an agreement without losing your cool, feeling lost or stuck, or feeling you can never make progress. The ProposalsB4Agreement method teaches you how to make and solicit proposals in a way that reduces resistance and fosters cooperation by keeping the focus on thinking instead of reacting. By focusing on questions and decisions rather than demands and ultimatums, you can guide the conflict toward a peaceful resolution or at least without a major battle. This approach is particularly effective in high-stakes situations where emotions are high, and finding common ground seems impossible. 5. AnalyzingB4Deciding: Using Proposals & Questions to Reach Agreements High-conflict situations often trigger impulsive decisions driven by emotion rather than reason as the high-conflict brain is crisis-driven and commands immediate responses or decisions, leaving most people feeling like they want to fight, explain, or run. As a Conflict Influencer™, you’ll learn how to analyze your options before reacting, helping you to manage your emotions and avoid escalating the conflict. This skill not only prevents you from taking the bait but also boosts your confidence in making decisions that are in your best interest. Over time, this approach helps you break free from the cycle of conflict and regain control over your interactions. 6. Building a Collaborative Mindset Finally, the ultimate goal of becoming a Conflict Influencer™ is to shift from a “me against you” mentality to a “team against the problem” mindset. By fostering collaboration and focusing on the issue at hand rather than personal attacks, you can create a more positive and solution-oriented environment. This shift in perspective not only resolves conflicts more effectively but also strengthens relationships and promotes long-term peace. Why You Should Take the Conflict Influencer™ Class The Conflict Influencer™ class is more than just a course; it’s a journey toward mastering conflict management in all areas of your life. Through a blend of instruction, practical application, and ongoing community support, you’ll gain the tools and confidence to handle any conflict, no matter how intense. Whether you’re dealing with a high-conflict individual or seeking to improve your general conflict resolution skills, this class offers practical, actionable strategies that will transform how you approach disputes. By becoming a Conflict Influencer, you’re not just managing conflict—you’re leading the way to a potential path and finding the missing peace. Register or get more information here. Megan Hunter, MBA, The Conflict Influencer™, is CEO and co-founder of the High Conflict Institute. After 20+ years teaching professionals around the world how to handle high-conflict disputes across many industries, governments, courts, and other organizations, she now expands her conflict expertise to the people who are faced with high-conflict situations every day. She has co-authored several books on high-conflict disputes and is the co-host of the podcast, It’s All Your Fault! with HCI co-founder Bill Eddy. She is known as the Conflict Influencer and intends to lead a new generation in becoming conflict influencers.
New Ways for Work®Leaders Course Delivers Immediate Impact
New Ways For Work® – Leaders Course Delivers Immediate Impact © 2024 by Cherolyn Knapp, B.Comm, LLB.B, Q.Med I had the pleasure of piloting HCI’s brand new course, New Ways for Work® – Leaders, to 24 keen learners on two half-days in July 2024. The inaugural class was comprised of Canadian and American leaders from across various sectors, including elementary and post-secondary education, municipal government, healthcare, aviation, industrial processing, court services, and leadership coaching. After teaching the New Ways For Work® – Coaching course for HCI since 2022, it had become apparent that there was also a strong need for a course especially for leaders and the challenges they are facing in today’s workplaces. It’s a privilege to have worked with Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter to develop this course and provide information to leaders in a way that they can implement right away with teams that have become derailed by high conflict. Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter kicked the Leaders course off with personal introductions which highlighted the prevalence of high conflict behavior in organizations and the importance of leaders learning skills for managing these challenging behaviours safely and with empathy. 4 Defining High-Conflict Characteristics The leaders learned the four defining characteristics of high conflict personalities and what to avoid doing when high conflict behavior is identified. They also learned what to do instead, using the four building blocks of the CARS Method®. We then delved into six key leadership areas where leaders make missteps and explored how to adapt their leadership. From day-to-day interactions to toxic group behavior to performance management and formal processes, the leaders learned frameworks and practiced skills for interacting compassionately while also setting clear expectations and limits with the most difficult employees. I’ll level with you that developing and delivering a brand new course for HCI, when at heart I still just feel like part of the “Bill and Megan Fan Club,” activated that voice in my head that worried, “what if it isn’t good enough?” The beauty of starting with a pilot version was being able to check in with attendees on how the various topics were landing. I made lots of notes about adjustments to make to improve the flow and allow more time when needed. I was elated on the second day when everyone showed up for more and knew we must be getting something right. This group of highly engaged leaders shared feedback about key insights that had been resonating with them and how they had already begun implementing some of the skills. Here are some of the insights that the leaders in the course said they had gained: Remaining calm and not getting sucked into the vortex of high conflict behavior Acronyms like CARS, EAR, BIFF, SLIC and other frameworks make it easier to remember what to do The importance of reframing to navigate one interaction at a time and put aside attempts to lead to insight Setting limits is often not easy and takes practice Thank you again to those who attended the first course and provided your feedback. I am passionate about empowering leaders everywhere with tools to navigate challenging employee dynamics and hope to meet you at upcoming New Ways for Work® courses. Who should take New Ways For Work® – Leaders? This course is for managers, supervisors, directors, chairpersons, leadership consultants and any leader who works in corporate, small business, government, public or non-profit sectors. If you lead people, this course will help you navigate and minimize the disruption high conflict personalities cause to your work teams. Time commitment: 2 half-days live online training with Cherolyn Knapp + optional on-demand videos with Bill Eddy Frequency: approximately every 2 months at various times of day for leaders in time zones anywhere. Register for sessions coming up in September or November 2024. Who should take New Ways for Work® – Coaching? This course is for executive coaches, human resources partners, Employee Assistance Program (EAP) Service Providers, counsellors, therapists, union representatives, respectful workplace advisors, wellness advisors, and anyone who works one-on-one with employees in a coaching role to learn two coaching techniques: CARS Method® Coaching: to help anyone deal with someone else’s difficult behavior, organize their responses to respond to calm down upset people, to redirect their energies, and to focus them on positive future choices and consequences; and New Ways for Work® Coaching: structured exercises for an employee who displays high conflict behavior to strengthen the 4 Big Skills™: flexible thinking, managed emotions, moderate behaviors and checking oneself. Time commitment: 120 minutes of foundational pre-recorded videos with Bill Eddy + 2 half-days live online training with Cherolyn Knapp Frequency: approximately twice per year. Register for sessions coming up in October 2024. Cherolyn Knapp, B.Comm, LL.B, Q.Med is a conflict resolution consultant, mediator, trainer, workplace investigator, and lawyer based in Victoria, Canada. She holds a B.Comm (Human Resources) from Toronto Metropolitan University and an LL.B. from the University of Ottawa. Cherolyn began teaching HCI’s techniques in 2020, and she now brings a thorough knowledge of high conflict personality traits and resolution strategies to HCI’s trainings. Cherolyn is the New Ways for Work® instructor for HCI.