the key to communicating with or responding to people who may have high-conflict personalities
ANGRY EMAILS? HOSTILE TEXTS? NASTY LETTERS?
The BIFF Response method will help you respond to hostile emails, texts and other communications and make you feel good doing it!
Most people have a hard time responding to personal attacks in emails, texts and other communication because it puts them in react mode instead of respond mode.
The most important thing to remember is: it’s not about you! BIFF stands for Brief, Informative, Friendly and Firm and can be used by anyone, in any situation but it does take practice. Learn how to write (or speak) using the BIFF Response method to help bring an angry exchange to a quick conclusion, without losing it yourself.
Could you respond to this email in a way that would stop or contain the hostility?
A BIFF Response can.
BIFF Responses are specifically designed to help you respond to written hostilities, but it can also be used in person-to-person verbal confrontations. BIFF is Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm (don’t let the friendly part fool you). It’s a simple set of tools that’s quick and effective in dealing with today’s High-Conflict communications, and we price it to be affordable to everyone. Check out our products, services and trainings for more information and contact us with questions or comments.
Attached is a copy of the travel schedule that I sent to ABC Company…AS I SAID I WOULD!!! You ALWAYS jump the gun and second-guess me. Additionally, you NEVER EVER give me credit for doing what I say I will do! Maybe if you didn’t take so many vacations you would actually know what’s going on around here! But I’ve come to expect nothing different from you. No need for a reply — it wouldn’t be sincere anyway.
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Personal Coaching for the BIFF Response Method
Your ex sends an endless stream of hostile texts or emails
Your boss’ attitude has you considering a career change
That one student is an irritation to everyone in the class
You have a client or colleague who is constantly upset
Someone just blasted you on Facebook…again
Your brother makes you nuts on a daily basis
Your best friend likes you one day then suddenly blows up
Sound familiar? What’s going on? Why can’t he/she just STOP IT, already? Why do you get blamed for everything wrong in his/her life? You’ve tried reasoning with the person, but he/she just gets angrier. How can you stop being frustrated with this situation, time and time again?
We can help! Biff Response coaching teaches you how to deal with personal attacks; especially in today’s world of texts, IM’s, hostile email and web postings, and it works for any type of communication, especially written confrontations. Don’t react or defend – learn how to give a BIFF Response instead. You’ll be respected for it – and feel good too.
Coaching is available in all locations by phone, email and/or Skype.
Training in the BIFF Response Method
Are you in a group or other organization dealing with isolated or ongoing issues with a High Conflict Person(s)? Do you want to learn how to get better results with difficult customers and clients? Want to give your staff a fresh look at handling workplace disputes? Could your students use a lesson in peer communications? Are you interested in being able to train others in writing/coaching BIFF Responses?
BIFF trainings are designed to help your organization cut down on lost time, energy and revenue by learning a simple, yet powerful, method to more effectively manage disputes with the most difficult people. Trainings are available in-person or by Skype. Contact us to discuss your organization’s needs, for information on becoming authorized to teach others, and for pricing information.
What People are Saying about the BIFF Response Method
“I am still feeling GREAT with my new tools! Four plus years of an exhausting divorce and a constant barrage of harassing, accusatory and demanding emails and I finally had enough. Every email I opened from the ex got me nervous, panicked and spun me into days of “How do I respond to this?” “How or do I respond to yet another false statement about me?!” I had been having help writing emails and responses for over 4 years from friends and family. Everyone was exhausted from it. After an hour with [the BIFF Response coach], I literally stood taller and had so much more power. FINALLY someone gave me the tools needed to respond or not respond. The emails don’t have power anymore! For the first time, I have a clear focused head and can read between the lines. Thank you!!”
BIFF Response coaching client
“In our conflict management and mediation workshops, I always recommend Bill Eddy’s books to participants. His ability to explain and explore complex topics in a clear and respectful way helps trainees learn to respond to high conflict situations in a more thoughtful way. I love the BIFF book because it focuses on real world attacks and real world BIFF responses! Highly recommended!”
Lisa Maxwell Director of the Training Institute, National Conflict Resolution Center
“I loved this book. It will truly help me to be able to stop and think about the fact that I am not actually the problem upon receiving a high conflict message of some sort. Eddy says we can retrain our brains. It is not exactly like “grey rock” because we are actually accomplishing something — we are getting the message across that we will not be pulled into emotional warfare and we are ending the conflict in an informative way.”
Megan Cox, A Cry for Justice
“It was a pleasure meeting you and attending your course… The material is so practical that an hour and a half after today's session I have already written a letter applying your BIFF tools and received a compliment from my employer that the letter was fantastic.”
Sandra, Mediator, Vancouver, Canada
“I loved it. This book is very intriguing and a godsend for handling difficult personalities who don’t want to stop fighting.”
Dennis L. Sharp, Attorney, Facilitator, Arbitrator & Mediator President, Sharp Resolutions, Inc.
“The BIFF Response method is one of the best methods I recommend for writing a response to someone with borderline or narcissistic personality disorder – or anyone who is frequently angry and blaming you. It calms them down without attacking them back. When I have written about it on my blog on the Psychology Today website, I have received some of the most thankful feedback. It’s easy to learn and it makes your life so much easier when dealing with any difficult person.”
Randi Kreger, Author of the Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder; Co-Author of Stop Walking on Eggshells and Co-Author of Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
The BIFF Response® method is a trademark of William A. Eddy exclusively licensed to High Conflict Institute LLC.