Excerpt from: The Future of Family Court
"TO EVERY EXTENT POSSIBLE, we need to reduce the stress on parents and children in our courts and our society. We need to admit that domestic violence is real, child abuse is real and that child alienation is real, rather than simply fighting about these issues. We need to work together at addressing these issues. We need to admit that our family courts often have a Culture of Blame, which on a prolonged basis can be just as abusive to parents with mental health problems as these parents are to their children. The court is in a good position to prevent child stress from the start or to reduce it by mandating efforts for positive change by their parents – from ordering parenting programs and classes, to setting limits on emotional attacks during the hearing process. However, if the court does not set standards and impose limits, high conflict parents will continue to escalate their inappropriate behavior and to impose their inappropriate needs on the children – which leads to alienation and abuse, and possible personality disorders for the next generation.
The judge sets the tone in the case from the very first court hearing – often an emergency hearing in potentially high-conflict cases. Judges who apply the principles described in this book should feel a much better sense of control over their courtrooms and less stress, as their clients are doing more of the work: practicing conflict resolution skills that will help them raise their children out of court, or showing each other’s patterns of behavior to more accurately see what needs at tention and protective orders.
Any judicial officer can immediately apply many of these concepts to his or her courtroom. I believe that this is important work. You can make a difference on the future of these parents – and especially on the future of their children."
High Conflict Institute provides training and consultations, as well and books, DVDs and CDs regarding dealing with High Conflict People (HCPs) in legal, workplace, educational, and healthcare disputes. Bill Eddy is the President of the High Conflict Institute and the author of It’s All Your Fault!, Splitting, BIFF: Quick Responses to High Conflict People, Their Hostile Emails, Personal Attacks and Social Media Meltdowns and Don’t Alienate the Kids! He is an author, attorney, mediator, and therapist. Bill has presented seminars to attorneys, judges, mediators, ombudspersons, human resource professionals, employee assistance professionals, managers, and administrators in 25 states, several provinces in Canada, France, Sweden, and Australia. For more information about High Conflict Institute, our seminars and consultations, Bill Eddy or to purchase a book, CD or DVD, visit: www.highconflictinstitute.com