Megan Speaks at the Diocese of Des Moines

Over the weekend, Megan Hunter, co-founder of HCI, spent two delightful days with the members from the Diocese of Des Moines at their annual retreat held at Conception Abbey, Missouri. They are a dedicated group of lay counselors and deacons who deal with a wide range of people’s issues, concerns and problems, which, of course, includes the most difficult “difficult” people. They work with the homeless and incarcerated people. They provide counseling for the married and unmarried; for the young and old; for rich and poor. All with compassion.

The issue that came up again and again was the need for strong policies and/or guidelines within the organization. High-conflict people do better with structure, which is exactly what policies, guidelines, rules, and laws provide. HCP’s usually lack structure. Those around them can be supportive and helpful by providing that much-needed structure. The added bonus is that it keeps the focus off of the person (the HCP won’t feel attacked) and it makes the boundary external instead of personal. Referring to an external reason for why they can or cannot do something may keep you from being attacked or the discussion from going round and round. “We have to do it this way because the policy in place requires it.” This takes the pressure off of you and helps put an end to the conversation.

Thanks Diocese of Des Moines for a great time in Missouri. Thanks for your kindness and welcome spirit! Keep up the good work!

High Conflict Institute provides training and consultations, as well and books, DVDs and CDs regarding dealing with High Conflict People (HCPs) in legal, workplace, educational, and healthcare disputes. Bill Eddy is the President and co-founder of the High Conflict Institute and the author of "It's All Your Fault!", "Splitting", "BIFF: Quick Responses to High Conflict People, Their Hostile Emails, Personal Attacks and Social Media Meltdowns" and "Don't Alienate the Kids!".  For more information about High Conflict Institute, our seminars and consultations, or to purchase a book, CD or DVD, visit: