Megan Hunter Guest Blog: TomKat: Another high-profile celebrity divorce for the public to obsess over

© 2012 By Megan Hunter, MBA

It appears that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes will be in the news for awhile. Another high-profile celebrity divorce for the public to obsess over. For Tom it’s his third, and just the first for Katie. Sad for the child. The media is reporting on everything from their involvement with Scientology to legal strategies to what they’re eating for breakfast. Most recently, it is reported that Katie has reunited with her Catholic faith, after studying Scientology during her marriage to Tom. It could be legal strategy but even so, it raises an important issue in my mind. How could someone so easily be convinced to switch religions? Especially such an extreme switch.

Katie was raised in the Catholic faith, then met Tom who quickly swept her off her Prada-clad feet. Shortly thereafter came the pregnancy and marriage. Sometime during that timeframe, she began studying Scientology – Tom’s chosen religion.  I can’t even begin to imagine her parent’s consternation.

The switch was extreme. So why did she do it? Falling in love makes all of us do things we wouldn’t ordinarily do, but this was extreme. Tom is driven, type A, and used to getting his way. There may be an element of charm that led Katie to make such an extreme decision. Had she dated him longer – at least one year – before making a permanent connection to him, she may have recognized red flags and put the brakes on a bit. Maybe not. It would depend on how hooked she was by his charm.

Most of us change a bit when we fall in love. This is healthy as it indicates flexibility and adaptation – two important factors in building and maintaining any relationship. It appears, from what we know from the outside, that Katie was the one doing most of the adapting – to Tom’s way of life and thinking. It doesn’t look like Tom did much adapting, if any. Had she known him longer before making the relationship permanent, she may have avoided this painful end. Moral of the story – know someone at least one year before committing to anything with them.

 

Co-founder Megan Hunter is a speaker,  author,  and international expert on high conflict disputes, complicated relationships, and Borderline Personality Disorder. She has over 13 years’ experience as the Family Law Specialist with the Arizona Supreme Court, and Child Support Manager of the Dawes County Attorney’s Office in Nebraska.