This is an increasingly important question in many areas of modern life, including in love relationships, in the workplace and in legal disputes. Major decisions are often made by assuming that someone will or won’t change their negative behaviors. Yet there are many factors that influence the likelihood that a difficult person will change—or not. The three most important factors are: which type of high-conflict personality they have, how severe their behavior is, and what their environments reinforce.Read More
High-conflict people (HCPs) have a pattern of high-conflict behavior that increases conflict rather than reducing or resolving it. This pattern usually happens over and over again in many different situations with many different people. The issue that seems in conflict at the time is not what is increasing the conflict. The “issue” is the high-conflict personality and how the person approaches problem-solving.Read More
According to the DSM-5 manual of mental disorders, up to 6% of the adult population in the United States may have a narcissistic personality disorder. That’s about 20 million people. Chances are good that you or someone you know may be married to a narcissist, the son or daughter of a narcissist, the parent of a narcissist, or a sibling or a cousin. If so, you know that it can be very hard to cope with their constant criticisms, arrogant statements, preoccupation with themselves, disparaging remarks, and demands for admiration. Not only does this get tiresome, it can also wear down your own self-esteem, be exhausting, and absorb a huge amount of your time with nothing received in return. This article gives some suggestions for how you can deal with them without getting stuck in the mud or disliking yourself.Read More
Dealing with High Conflict People and their irate communications can leave you at a loss for words.
The BIFF Response® Method helps you get your thoughts organized and under control so you can respond effectively.
To be most effective, we suggest you explore the method in our 20-minute Online Course, 20-minute dvd or in the BIFF Response book to give you the method essentials. Then we tell people to practice, practice, practice!
When you want to utilize The BIFF Response® Method, you may find yourself staring at a blank screen wondering, “What do I say?” The answer will vary from case-to-case, but let’s review the ground rules and then go over a few examples.
Clients with borderline personality disorder (BPD) suffer from constant “emotion dysregulation” (wide mood swings, sudden anger, unnecessary suspiciousness, inappropriately intense excitement, misplaced loving feelings, etc.), as the accompanying article by Shehrina Rooney describes. This is not something over which they have conscious control, unless they are learning to regulate their emotions in some form of therapy. In fact, such emotion dysregulation is at the heart of most of their problems in relationships, with romantic partners, family members and professionals. With this in mind, here are seven tips for those working with someone with BPD:Read More
Recently, public figures have said President Trump was a “con man,” “had malignant narcissism” and George Conway tweeted the cover of the DSM-5 and told people to look at “narcissistic personality disorder and antisocial personality disorder.”
When Massachusetts governor, William Weld, was exploring running against the president as a Republican, in part because of Trump’s “malignant narcissism”1 I wanted to educate the public on what EXACTLY that means. And really look at how one can determine whether President Trump suffers from this disorder.
This brought about the idea for my article posted on Psychology Today:
Malignant Narcissism: Does the President Really Have It?*
Did you ever wonder where incivility comes from? Is it always what someone else is doing? It seems to have spread far and wide over the last few years. In all professions, in all organizations and in the larger society, we seem to be becoming more rude, more insulting and less sensitive to each other. This appears to be directly connected to the rise of narcissism in our society. This article suggests why these two trends are increasing hand-in-hand—and what we each can do about it.Read More
Holidays at any time of year can be a time of fun and visiting with family and friends. But it also can be a combustible mix of political opinions, food choices, parenting differences, and generational expectations and pressures.Read More
Sociopaths, also known as those with antisocial personality disorder (ASPD), are some of the most dangerous and deceptive people you will ever know. Yet they also can be some of the most charming. That’s why they are often known as “con artists.” In this article I will give some of the basics of understanding sociopaths, including how they may deceive people in legal disputes.Read More
We were truly fortunate and grateful to visit Israel, not once, but twice, in the past year. HCI co-founder Bill Eddy made the long trip to speak to a warm and friendly group of family law professionals on high-conflict behaviors in family court. On this trip, he was introduced to several dedicated professionals who work hard to serve families in their small, yet extraordinarily diverse and ever-changing country.Read More
An EAR Statement can calm an upset or hostile person within seconds.Read More