So, What's Your Proposal
So, What's Your Proposal
Shifting People From Blaming to Problem-Solving in 30 Seconds!
With high-conflict people increasing in society, the 24-hour news cycle, and social media, we are continually barraged with the worst behaviors of other people. The strong temptation is to react, defend yourself and blame them back. Instead, consider the simple So, What’s Your Proposal? method for pulling them out of the past and away from blaming everyone else.
Blame is abundant these days! Every day people confront us at work, at the store, at home, in our communities and online. Nerves get on edge. More and more people get stuck blaming others for anything that goes wrong. With high-conflict people increasing in society, the 24-hour news cycle, and social media, we are continually barraged with the worst behaviors of other people. The strong temptation is to react, defend yourself and blame them back.
Instead, consider the simple So, What’s Your Proposal? method for pulling them out of the past and away from blaming everyone else. Get them to quickly:
focus on the future
contribute to finding solutions to problems – including those they created themselves.
You will stay calm and confident, while earning the respect of those around you – even those who want to blame you!
ISBN (print): 9781936268627
ISBN (ebook): 9781936268634
Size: 8.5″ x 5.5″ x 0.5″
Author: Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.
Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. is a lawyer, therapist, mediator and the President of High Conflict Institute. He developed the “High Conflict Personality” theory (HCP Theory) and has become an international expert on managing disputes involving high conflict personalities and personality disorders. He provides training on this subject to lawyers, judges, mediators, managers, human resource professionals, businesspersons, healthcare administrators, college administrators, homeowners’ association managers, ombudspersons, law enforcement, therapists and others. He has been a speaker and trainer in over 25 states, several provinces in Canada, Australia, France and Sweden.
As an attorney, Bill is a Certified Family Law Specialist in California and the Senior Family Mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center in San Diego. Prior to becoming an attorney in 1992, he was a Licensed Clinical Social worker with twelve years’ experience providing therapy to children, adults, couples and families in psychiatric hospitals and outpatient clinics. He has taught Negotiation and Mediation at the University of San Diego School of Law for six years and he is on the part-time faculty of the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at the Pepperdine University School of Law and the National Judicial College. He is the author of numerous articles and several books, including:
5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life
BIFF: Quick Responses to High-Conflict People, Their Personal Attacks, Hostile Email and Social Media Meltdowns
High Conflict People in Legal Disputes
It’s All YOUR Fault! 12 Tips for Managing People Who Blame Others for Everything
SPLITTING: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder
It’s All Your Fault at Work
Future of Family Court
Don’t Alienate the Kids
He is also the developer of the New Ways for Families method of managing potentially high conflict families in and out of family court and the New Ways for Work method for managing potentially high conflict employees.
Praise for So, What's Your Proposal?
“In his newest must-read book, So, What’s Your Proposal? Shifting High-Conflict People from Blaming to Problem-Solving in 30 Seconds, Master Attorney/Mediator/ Therapist, Bill Eddy shows you how to stop the blame game and consciously shift conflict quickly into creative solutions. This book is crucial for anyone who has to deal with difficult people at home or in business!”
—Mari J. Frank, Esq. CIPP, attorney/mediator, and author of Negotiation Breakthroughs; co-author of The Gift in Conflict for Couples
“Not only does Bill’s book show “how to” redirect judgmental dialogue to problem-solving focus, he also explains why this simple 3-step process works. All the reader has to do is practice, practice, practice. What a wonderful resource in dealing with persons unable to focus on solving the problem.”
—Sheldon (Shelly) E. Finman, Family Law Attorney & Mediator, Ft. Myers, Florida
“In So, What’s Your Proposal? Bill Eddy explores the neuropsychology of high conflict personalities (HCPs) and furnishes a useful chart of left and right brain responses as a prelude to examining possible professional responses to such individuals. He then gives examples of ways to manage HCPs in a variety of situations, including mediation, work, education, families, communities, volunteer and non-profit organizations, and in politics. For someone who is not already familiar with Bill’s analysis, this book provides some practical ways for professionals to deal with this frustrating class of clients. If you already know Bill’s work, this book will still provide you with some new insights.”
—Lawrence D. Gaughan, J.D., LL.M. Professional Director, Family Mediation of Greater Washington
“This is nothing short of brilliant. I spend a lot of time negotiating settlements in contentious divorce cases. This process is revolutionary in helping people moving through difficult negotiations. I wish I had this years ago.”
—Molly B. Kenny, Attorney, Seattle, Washington
“So, What’s Your Proposal? is a question literally designed to short-circuit the brain in stressful situations. Using the techniques described by attorney Bill Eddy in this work, you can immediately
stop the negativity and gently shift participants from all-or-nothing into flexible thinking. This practice is useful not just for those of us who deal with high conflict people, but in any situation where the parties are stuck in negotiations and need to generate creative options.”
—Michèle Huff, J.D., lawyer/meditator and author of The Transformative Negotiator: Changing the Way We Come to Agreement from the Inside Out