When parents start living in two separate households, they need to redefine their boundaries, especially in regard to the children.
Read More"Maybe we don’t need relationships anymore. Maybe we can say and do anything we want with other people – in other words incivility has no cost and is easier than putting a surge protector on ourselves."
Read More"Setting limits is the most important and most difficult step in handling High Conflict People."
Read MorePause. Take a deep breath. Then read the email/ text with a critical eye: Is there anything that REALLY requires a reply?
Read More"Paint a picture of that person treading water alone in the ocean. When we extend logic, explanation, insults and avoidance to them, they just sink deeper. Arms flailing, they're barely able to keep their head above water."
Read More"Every time you react to the attacks, you are fueling the High-Conflict Person’s fire to continue with even more attacks."
Read MoreYour divorce isn’t like your friends divorce, yours is different. Your divorce is high conflict. You need strong and secure boundaries, clear and concise communication and you need to document your Ex’s manipulative behaviors.
Read MoreIf you act reasonably and use the cooperative problem-solving skills you use in daily life, you risk losing your case, your kids and your property because family court is a highly adversarial process that rewards combative thinking and behavior.
Read MoreThe High-Conflict Person's deeply-felt belief that they're right and you're wrong results in an intensity that scares us, so we end up avoiding them altogether or bending the boundaries to avoid being yelled at or even feeling uncomfortable.
Read More"A person without personality awareness skills might think that so-and-so is a real jerk and to be avoided. But someone with personality awareness skills knows to consider that the new friend might actually be the person to avoid and that so-and-so is actually a nice guy. More information is needed and those with these skills know generally where to look."
Read MoreA BIFF Response is a great thing use but it’s not a cure for narcissism or teenage angst. Putting this into practice effectively requires not only learning the four steps, but having a good working knowledge of the reasons why it works.
Read MoreWhen dealing with high-conflict people in close relationships or at work, it is especially important to set limits on their unrestrained aggressive behavior, yet to do it in a way that doesn’t make things worse.
Read MoreIf you think you are going to be dealing with an HCP, avoid getting hooked and feeding the conflict by reminding yourself of these two steps before you start talking.
Read More"This 'commenting' seems to occur almost unnoticed by each person saying it, as if it was part of the language of the day."
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