New Ways For Families - Parent Information
New Ways for Families™ focuses on helping people learn "new ways" of thinking, feeling and behaving, rather than focusing on the past or blaming each other. New Ways is a short-term, 4-Step structured method for parents re-organizing their families after or during a separation or divorce. This method can be used at any time by any family, from the beginning of the separation process or even after the divorce.
The overall goal is to help both parents develop new ways of making decisions, communicating, and planning for children in a separation or divorce. This method may be used if you jointly agree to use this approach or if a court orders you; if you have direct contact with each other or no direct contact; and no matter the age of your child/ren.
STEP 1: GETTING STARTED
You can agree to use New Ways, or a judge can order it while also making temporary parenting orders, support orders, and restraining orders. The court order includes a timeline for completion of the the Individual Counseling sessions, the Parent-Child Counseling sessions, and the appointment of the Parent-Child Counselor.
To Get Started, you will need to:
- Select your Individual Parent Counselor: Click here for a list of New Ways Counselors in San Diego, California. Please contact us for a list of counselors in other areas.
- Purchase the "Parent Workbook." If you are involved in a Collaborative Divorce, be sure to purchase the "Collaborative Parent Workbook." Click here to purchase your workbook.
- Prepare Behavioral Declarations and Reply Behavioral Declarations. These declarations and the court order are the only paperwork provided to your counselors. Download Behavioral Declarations and Instructions.
Print Parent Instructions to get started.
STEP 2: INDIVIDUAL PARENT COUNSELING:
This step involves 6 individual counseling sessions with your selected counselor, focused on learning new skills (new ways) for dealing with change in your family.
These 6 weekly sessions occur concurrently for each parent with a separate, confidential counselor. During these sessions, you will work with your Individual Counselor to complete the exercises in the Parent Workbook and focus on strengthening three conflict-reducing skills: flexible thinking, managed emotions, moderate behaviors.
The Individual Counselor is confidential, meaning this counselor will not report to the court, lawyers, other other professionals involved with your case, and will not write a recommendation to the court on your behalf. However, the counselor will provide a Verification of Completion, which may be given to the court, indicating when you completed the Behavioral Declarations and the Individual Counseling sessions.
After your first Individual counseling session, you need to obtain a Coordination Letter from your Individual Counselor. You should complete this Coordination Letter and send it to your Parent-Child Counselor as soon as possible after your first counseling session. Your Parent-Child Counselor is the counselor named in paragraph 6 of the court order. If the court did not appoint a Parent-Child Counselor, you and the other parent can jointly select a counselor from a list of New Ways-trained counselors.
STEP 3: PARENT-CHILD COUNSELING
Only after both parents have completed the 6 sessions of Individual Counseling can the parents move on to Parent-Child Counseling.
This involves 3 sessions of Parent-Child Counseling for each parent with the child/ren. You and the other parent share the same counselor, but attend sessions with your child/ren separately by alternating weeks with the other parent. The focus of these sessions is having the parents teach their children the same three skills they learned in their Individual Counseling, hearing the children’s concerns, and discussing the new ways their family will operate with the child/ren.
STEP 4: FAMILY (OR COURT) DECISION-MAKING:
Contact us for a list of New Ways-trained mediators and lawyers in your area, or for more information.
If you are unable to make your own parenting agreements, you must return to court for the judge to make these decisions. The judge will quiz you on what you have learned in your counseling sessions and how you would handle hypothetical parenting scenarios. Then, the judge will make his or her final orders about your parenting plan.
Contact us at 619-209-7796 you have questions about the program.