What People Are Saying
See reviews of New Ways For Mediation™ Method
"I found Bill Eddy’s training and, in particular, published works, including High Conflict People in Legal Disputes (2006), and Splitting (2004), instructive and give hope that we can help those high-conflict persons more constructively focus, whether it be in settlement or in a court process. Bill’s calm and relaxing style of presentation and his easy-to-read materials are a plus in dealing with this very complex subject. This is the new frontier in our journey in helping families."
Sheldon (Shelly) E. Finman, JD
Family Law Attorney & Mediator
Ft. Myers, Florida
"I can attest that high-conflict personalities take an inordinate amount of time and court resources in just about every type of case I have presided over. Mr. Eddy brilliantly offers new and valuable insights on how to cope with the high-conflict personality so as to arrive at a better result for all the parties involved and for better use of mediation and the courts."
Sol Gothard, JD, MSW, ACSW
Senior Judge (Ret.), Fifth Circuit Court of Appeal, State of Louisiana
"Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing A Borderline or Narcissist should be required reading for all professionals, friends, and adult family members involved in divorce cases. Personality disorders are basically attachment disorders that distort interpersonal interactions. Minor misunderstandings can be seen as major injustices, triggering massive survival anxiety and false perceptions of imminent danger. Impassioned pleas for justice are often based on unfounded or fabricated accusations. Mr. Eddy’s sensitive explanations illustrate the difference between vengeance and justice – a crucial distinction in understanding today’s family court cases."
Christine A. Lawson, Ph.D.
Author of Understanding the Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children
Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable and Volatile Relationship
"An essential resource for all family law attorneys and mental health professionals working with high conflict divorce cases."
Steven N. Sparta, Ph.D.
Clinical Professor of Psychiatry, UCSD Medical School
Former Chair, Ethics Committee, American Psychological Association
"Bill Eddy utilizes his background in both law and psychology in providing top-notch, cutting edge training to mediators in search of truly advanced training…I urge you to sign up as quickly as possible!"
Nina Meierding, MS, JD
Director, Mediation Center for Family Law
Past President, Academy of Family Mediators
"Mediators and lawyers are hungry for innovative strategies to resolve disputes. Bill Eddy provides cutting-edge tools to understand our high conflict clients-and to help them, and ourselves."
Forrest (Woody) Mosten
Certified Family Law Specialist and Mediator
Los Angeles, California
"I loved it. This book is very intriguing and a godsend for handling difficult personalities who don’t want to stop fighting."
Dennis Sharp Attorney, Arbitrator and Mediator
Judicial Arbitration and Mediation Service
Former Board Member of Association of Conflict Resolution (ACR)
"I think all collaborative professionals would benefit from taking this Institute to better understand the dynamics of couples they work with."
Vicki Carpel Miller, BSN, MS, LMFT, PC
Collaborative Divorce Trainer
Co-Founder, Vicarious Trauma Institute
"Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing a Borderline or Narcissist by William Eddy provides family law attorneys and their clients with universally helpful tools for focusing their collective efforts and developing strategy. For example, if you can identify your client’s former spouse as a Borderline or Narcissist using Mr. Eddy’s guidelines, you may recognize that settlement efforts may be futile; thus you can concentrate your efforts on the litigation which will inevitably ensue…. In an already volatile venue, a little edge can save you time and save your client money."
Cheryl Anne Rowe
Certified Family Law Specialist
Family Law News - Spring 2004
“We have continued to receive positive comments about the talk Bill gave to Separated and Divorced Catholics of the Los Angeles Archdiocese and San Diego Diocese recently. The presentation entitled, "Having Compassion While Divorcing Someone with a Personality Disorder" proved to be extremely helpful in the healing of both parties.
It appears that almost at an instant, many individuals who heard him speak were able to view their experience in a completely different light! In so doing, they were equipped to go back to the negotiating table with a profound sense of truth that enabled them to replace destructive anger and vengeance with constructive reason and understanding. Through the knowledge that Bill imparts, family healing is made possible by recognizing the need to be somewhat sensitive to their spouse's inherent limitations.
Faith-based venues are the perfect arena for Bill's powerful message of forgiveness and compassion. The real-life application of his dynamic truths is changing people's lives for the better. Uncoupling partners at all stages can benefit. Children of all ages benefit. There is no question society as a whole can benefit from this incredible wealth of hard-to-find knowledge.
This message needs to be incorporated into churches across America. Divorce isn't going anywhere anytime soon and the Church needs to be a hub of resource information or at least referrals for those going through this painful life crisis!
Though he never touches upon the issue of theology or religion, in a very potent but subtle manner, Bill's core message actually mirrors the core belief system of most every Christian church in America. It is a message of hope, healing and restoration by creating a desire to act in such a way that is in the best interest of all parties without passing judgment. This positive transformation in the way in which conflict is managed happens only through self-sacrifice (give and take), recognizing our human frailties and a forgiving heart. That's not all that far off from what we hear at the pulpit every Sunday!”
Catholic Divorce Healing Ministry
San Diego Catholic Diocese
"Bill Eddy is a rare breed of lawyer who combines a wealth of clinical experience with excellent skills as a family lawyer. Bill is smart, energetic and compassionate. He is also an excellent mediator and problem solver. I know of no lawyer with the requisite skill to write this booklet, other than Bill Eddy, and all of us in the field of law and psychology owe Bill an enormous debt of gratitude.
I have had conversations with child custody evaluators who have, in recent years, begun to notice a distinct pattern of behaviors when individuals with personality disorders become involved in divorce and custody litigation. False allegations of domestic violence (I have spoken with at least a dozen men in the past who have served jail time on false DV charges), distortion campaigns, raging and threatening behaviors, and yes, parental alienation-many of these damaging behaviors seem to find their way into a divorce with BPD and NPD.
There seems to be a pattern, a predictable course that emerges in these cases. A roadmap, it seems, would be essential to these family members, lawyers, judges, and custody evaluators to assist them in navigating the twisted and tortured paths these disorders often present in divorce and custody disputes.
Bill Eddy’s booklet is that roadmap, Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing a Borderline or Narcissist is instructive, vibrant and empowering. I am deeply thankful to Bill Eddy for this booklet and equally grateful that so many of his readers will benefit in their own lives. Children of these dissolved marriages will benefit."
Michael F. Roe
Attorney and Mediator
Glen Ellyn, Illinois