Conflict Program For The Workplace And Organizations

By Bill Eddy, LCSW, CFLS

Those regularly reading this eNewsletter know that we have started a program in Family Courts titled New Ways for Families. The next program we are developing is for the workplace and is designed to provide structured, short-term counseling or coaching for employees who are having conflicts in the workplace. We expect to have materials and training for this new program available in 2010 for human resource professionals, managers and anyone who deals with conflict in the workplace or any type of organization. In the meantime, here are some of the principles of the program:

High Conflict People in the Workplace

Research now indicates that approximately 20% of the general U.S. population meets the criteria for one or more personality disorders. Younger adults may have an even higher percentage. People with personality disorders exhibit frequent all-or-nothing thinking, unmanaged emotions, and extreme behaviors.

While these characteristics may be less severe or obvious in the workplace, they become strongly apparent in intimate relationships, and during conflicts or crisis situations. Depending on the nature of one’s job and the management of conflict in the workplace, these personality characteristics may become suddenly and dramatically apparent at any time. They can totally distract a workgroup for days or even months, and sometimes drive other good employees away. They often appear to be bullies, yet they also can make it appear that others are bullying them.

Principles of Counseling/Coaching

Just as in New Ways for Families, the focus in New Ways for Work is on teaching clients to learn and practice three basic relationship skills: flexible thinking, managed emotions, and moderate behaviors. This needs to be done in a structured and supportive counseling or coaching relationship, which helps the client understand his or her resistance to using these skills and which teaches them to regularly “check themselves” to see if they are using flexible thinking, managed emotions, and moderate behaviors.

The program is structured around a cognitive-behavioral workbook we are developing for use in six sessions of Individual Employee Counseling/Coaching. By using this workbook, therapists/coaches can assist their clients in focusing on strengthening their own skills, rather than focusing on complaining about the work environment or blaming specific co-workers. This also makes the process predictable for employers, managers, human resources and employee assistance personnel, who may be involved in following up with the client after they have completed this counseling or coaching.

When New Ways for Work Could be Used

Whenever an employee has acted in a manner needing some form of discipline, this program can be used to help the employee develop better relationship skills for the workplace. This could be the only form of discipline or could be used in conjunction with other forms of discipline. For employers using progressive discipline procedures, this could be an early intervention that could show whether the employee needs more. Continued employment could be made contingent on the employee demonstrating the use of flexible thinking, managed emotions, and moderate behaviors. A supervisor could provide feedback from time to time to encourage the use of these skills and reinforce positive behavior.

When Two Employees are in Conflict

Nowadays there appears to be more and more conflict between employees in the workplace, perhaps because the presence of personality disorders and traits are also increasing. People with personality disorders chronically blame others in an emotional way that can be very persuasive. It is not unusual for a personality-disordered employee to present a complaint against another worker, when it was the personality-disordered worker who was actually behaving badly.

Such situations can be very confusing and difficult to sort out for managers and human resource professionals. Therefore, our program can be offered to both employees as a way to deal with the situation. Without any discipline necessary, a manager or human resource professional or employee assistance professional can recommend this program. It is a benefit to both employees, because the three basic skills of flexible thinking, managed emotions, and moderate behaviors, will help each of them in their own lives in and out of work, and they are also leadership skills for the most effective employees. It does not need to be seen as a punishment if both employees are encouraged or required to obtain this counseling. Of course, each employee would meet with his or her own therapist/coach for the six sessions of New Ways counseling/coaching.

Mediation and Other Conflict Resolution Methods

In the event that two or more employees are in conflict, it may be appropriate for there to be a mediation session between them. However, in some situations it may be much more helpful if each party to the dispute is also involved in this program, so that they are each working on skills of “checking” themselves for flexible thinking, managed emotions, and moderate behaviors. This will make mediation much more successful and much less likely to be used by a bully to further victimize another worker.

It is very important in workplace mediation that it is not viewed as an alternative to necessary discipline, when one worker has bullied another worker. In some cases, it may be appropriate for the bully to go through this program, then to have a mediation session with the other worker(s) to prepare them all for a more successful working relationship in the future.

Some Cautionary Notes

This program will not be a cure-all or an alternative to necessary disciplinary actions for workers with inappropriate behavior. In some cases, workers should leave the organization. However, for a valued employee or one with good potential, it may be an effective method for improving their interpersonal behavior enough to allow them to make a positive contribution to the company or organization in the future.

High Conflict Institute provides training and consultations regarding High Conflict People (HCPs) to individuals and professionals dealing with legal, workplace, educational, and healthcare disputes. Bill Eddy is the President of the High Conflict Institute and the author of “It’s All Your Fault!” He is an attorney, mediator, and therapist. Bill has presented seminars to attorneys, judges, mediators, ombudspersons, human resource professionals, employee assistance professionals, managers, and administrators in 25 states, several provinces in Canada, France, and Australia. For more information about High Conflict Institute, our seminars and consultations, or Bill Eddy and his books go to: www.HighConflictInstitute.com or call 619-221-9108.